But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
