I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So much Jack, so little girl.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
