she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
