her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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