I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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