Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Boobs speak an international language.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
