taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
