so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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