I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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