Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
