Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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