Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
