In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
