Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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