I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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