I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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