We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
