Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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