What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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