I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
