Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
