Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
