Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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