How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
