Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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