They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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