At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
