New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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