The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My ass is underappreciated
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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