Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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