For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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