Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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