Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So squirting runs in the family.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
