Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
