you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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