I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
