Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
