You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
