I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
