Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
