im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
