his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
