I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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