Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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