Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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