she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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