So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
