I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
40s are totally the cure
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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