I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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