you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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